How to be the Perfect Girlfriend
by Rowdypuff
Summary: -In a sarcastic way of course! Butch has offended Buttercup for the last time! But this time she isn't gonna hurt him- no, that'd be too merciful. She was gonna kick him where it hurt. His feelings.
1. The Fury of BC

**_Title:_**

 ** _Characters: [Buttercup, Butch]; Brick, Boomer_**

 ** _Rating: T for Totally Teen!_**

 ** _Type: Oneshot_**

 ** _Notes~ Second story- still not sure on this whole fanfiction thing. Bear with me and please- not too harsh._**

* * *

Oh no he did not. He did not! I was pretty much stomping through the halls of school. His ass was going to be hung up on a mantel over my fireplace- Mr. Krabs style!

I pushed past everyone in my way, which was barely anyone because it was after school hours. Ugh- I can't even think I'm so mad! I can't even narrate dammit!

I passed (pushed) a familiar brunette, who gave me an almost scared look,"BC?" He had tried to walk after me, but I was too angry to stop and talk,"Buttercup!" He caught up with me as I made my way to the girls' locker room entrance.

Mitch stood in front of it before I could go inside,"Tell me what's up before you go in! I'm here for you, dude."

Dude. He had said dude. Like I was some _guy_. My scowl somehow got bigger as Mitch hit a nerve. I took the collar of his shirt in my hands and shoved him against the wall to the left of the locker room,"I am a _girl_. A female _girl_. I have a vagina and every month I get woman's monthly gift- so don't for one day call me _dude_ or _man_ o-or any other boy thing, okay?!"

He nodded quickly and I set him down. He put his hands around his neck and rubbed. Whoops, think I went too far. "But it's never bothered you before? What's up, BC?"

Butch will be up in a few seconds, up falling to his death. I still couldn't believe what he had said behind my back. This is why I'm not in a relationship. Boys are so unreliable. They're man whores! They think they can just be one way one time and another way another- well not with me. Butch should know I'm not a regular girl. I'm Buttercup Motherfucking Utonium.

I realized Mitch was still staring at me,"I heard Butch talking to his friends about me." I refused to make eye contact with Mitch as I spoke,"He said things."

"BC, we're best friends, you can tell me anything." I nodded and gestured for him to follow me.

I led him to the east side of the building, the same place the stairway to the roof of the school was. "Follow me."

* * *

Mitch looked surprised when I finished telling him. His eyebrows were raised. "Lemme get this straight. You and Butch have been dating?"

"Were you not listening? Yes! For like two weeks so far."

Mitch is dumb when it comes to feelings, but everything else he was okay with. "And he told his friends you were what?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. Was he incapable of hearing or something! "So his friends were talking about Homecoming and they asked who he was gonna take, they said the only girl they had seen him around in a while was me. They asked if he was gonna take me and Butch said no he wasn't gay."

"I'm confused. Can you repeat the story?"

 _I was about to walk to my next class when I heard Butch's voice. Usually he gets me a burrito for lunch but he was late so I was looking around for him boutta ask why._

 _When I heard his voice I stopped and pressed my ear against the door, it was Miss Packard's history class, they had detention or something._

 _".. might cancel on going with you guys." Butch said. He sounded like he expected the worst._

 _Boy #1 said something I respected,"Wow, pussy."_

 _"I can stay for the game, just not the dance and shit."_

 _Boy #2: "Why not man? We been planning on taking these college girls forever."_

 _Butch: "I have plans guys, sorry."_

 _Boy #3: "Oh you're asking someone? Which girl are you gonna get lucky with this Homecoming?"_

 _Boy #1: "Yeah share the deets of this girl."_

 _Butch: "That's my business and my business only."_

 _There was a silence then Boy #3 spoke: 'Never stopped you before"_

 _Boy #2: "Is it Hannah, bro?"_

Butch: Lord no.

 _Boy #1: Isabella? Rocky? Georgia?_

Butch _: Nope, nope, and that's a state bro._

Boy _#3: Speaking of girls, you haven't spoken to a lot in the past month man. When's the last time you been laid?_

Butch _: Uh, you know. Like. regular amount of time._

Boy _#2: Yeah the only girl you hang out with now is Buttercup_.

Boy _#3: Holy shit are you asking her?_

Butch _: What! w-wait.._

Boy _#3: Bro, everyone's gonna flip._

Butch _: Guys cmon. Buttercup isn't considered a_ her. _All she wears is fucking guy clothes, at this point i thought she identified as a male. I'm sorry. He._

They _all laughed and my cheeks were burning hot._

Boy _#3: So you're not asking her?_

Butch _: Hell to the no. I'd rather chop off my dick. Maybe she could use it for a transplant._

That's _when I left and walked away._

"BC that sounds messed up. What are you gonna do? Castrate him?"

I looked at my feet and sighed. Laying down on the floor as Mitch sat quiet next to me. "That's what he said. Castrating him. You know I'm not always violent." I bit my lip. "I could be gentle." The last part I kind of whispered to myself. I was embarrassed that I was confiding in Mitch. I usually talk to my sisters.

To my surprise Mitch held my hand comfortingly. He gave me this look that was pity mixed with anger mixed with determination. "He's crazy. Crazy if he thinks he can say something like that and still date you. I'm really sorry he said that." He let go of my hand just to stand up and clench his fists. "I just wanna punch him in his dumb face."

He made me snicker and smile. That was actually pretty funny. Especially since I knew for a fact Butch would knock him silly. "No don't, it's okay. No offense but he would turn your face inside out."

Mitch turned red and sat back down. It was silent for a bit, we were both thinking about ways to get back at Butch which was when Mitch suddenly had this spasm thing. "I know what'll show him: going to homecoming with me instead. That way he gets mad and you got revenge without ripping off his reproductive organ. Plus, while we're on that topic I just want you to know that... I have f-"

"Hold that thought!" My idea had come out of nowhere and I just had to say it. Plus whatever Mitch had to say could wait. "What if I be the girliest girl ever and I show him how horrible it would be if _I_ was nice. Good idea, huh?" I sat up and nudged him with my elbow. He said nothing. I nudged him harder. "Good idea, huh?" I repeated. Still nothing. "Oh what were you saying?"

His face turned a weird color of red. He probably had a fever or something. "Oh, I was just gonna, um.. You know say that my step sister Carly can help you get girly or whatever."

I smiled and got to my feet,"Thanks Mitch." I helped him up and gave him a short hug while I was at it. "Nice talk." With that I set off on the glorious path of revenge.

* * *

Carly looked me up and down. "Are you sure about this, BC?" I took a deep breath and nodded. Right now I was in Mitch's house with his stepsister Carly. He was sitting on her bed eating popcorn while Carly was using her super powers.

She shrugged and brought me over to the chair in front of the mirror. "So how long are you gonna be doing this?"

"Till the day after homecoming." She took my hair out of the ponytail and ruffled it up. It got longer wow. It was now almost to my boobs. When she ruffled it some hair landed in my face and I blew it away.

Carly rose her eyebrow and got some hair stuff. Whatever tf it was called. "That's a long time. Like two weeks. Is there a reason?"

In the mirror I looked at Mitch, we made eye contact. It was probably a bad idea. To tell her I mean. "Just want to see what it's like." I lied.

About an hour later she was done with my hair and eye makeup, I looked like a completely different person. My hair had way more volume, it was cleaner and shiner than usual and it felt like clouds. Somehow it looked longer. I made a face at Carly. _How._ She put the work in working her magic.

"Wow." I was speechless.

Mitch looked just as speechless as me, "Agreed."

Carly had a proud smirk on her face. She dangled a comb in her fingers. "Now for the rest of your makeup."

That's where I drew the line. I got up, almost tripping on the smock she put over me. " _Woooah_ I don't do makeup, sweetheart."

"I'm not saying you're not pretty all ready, just that it'll make you even prettier. Then with the new hair and the new clothes you'll-"

"Hold it. What? I'm not getting _new_ clothes. I'm fine. No makeup. No new clothes. I'm fine."

Carly shook her head at me. The rudeness! I frowned at her as she continued to disapprove. Disapprove me all you want you-. Mitch got up from his place in the bed and gave me the look. A look that meant _It's the best idea._

I gave him the other look that said _I'm not gonna buy new clothes because of Butch._

Mitch scoffed at me, resorting to talking out loud because we didn't have a look for whatever he was about to say. "We'll buy it. Are you forgetting that my stepdad is loaded." Oh yeah. Mitch's mom wasn't poor before but she wasn't rich either, then she met a guy named Matt Jones, blah blah blah, married 7 months later and now he has a stepsister. I forgot the details but yeah, now they were rich. Now that I think about it we do need a look for that.

Well if doing up my hair wasn't enough, I guess I didn't have a choice. I nodded reluctantly and Carly smiled and cheered, " ** _SHOPPING!_** " I literally almost fell out of my chair.

Ain't nobody asking for a White Chicks reference.

* * *

 ** _Does anybody absolutely want to see the shopping part of it? Like I can show the shopping part next chapter with the days leading up to homecoming or I just show the days leading up to homecoming. And homecoming. Whatever the readers want._**

 ** _Okay so next chapter is either:_**

 ** _A) The shopping spree and the days leading up to homecoming with a big 3rd chapter of the homecoming itself and a 4th chapter with the aftermath._**

 ** _B) The days leading up to homecoming, but I put more days, big 3rd chapter homecoming and aftermath for 4th_**

 ** _C) Or I just shut up and leave the story there._**

 ** _Okay! Please vote! PM me or comment. Thank youuuu!_**

 ** _-Rowdypuff_**


	2. The Makeover

**_Title: How to be the Perfect Girlfriend_**

 ** _Notes_** ** _: Most people wanted A, well on 9/13. The next day I just started_** ** _this chapter._**

* * *

When I told my sisters how Carly was taking me shopping for new clothes and makeup for my makeover I thought they would say things like _You don't have to change yourself, Buttercup you're beautiful either way_ or their hopeful shit like that.

Instead Bubbles said, "Get new bras, you've had those for like a year and trust me, you've gone up a few sizes." I put my arms across my chest. Why was she just looking randomly? Boomer needed to control his lady.

Blossom spoke up under her book, being a know-it-all as always, "Yeah, the bad cup size messes up your posture."

"Also get new flannel," Bubbles spoke up again.

WHAT! I gasped at her, almost falling out of the chair I was in. Yeah, I can be overdramatic. "What's wrong with my flannel?" I said it defensively, sort've yelled at both of them.

Blossom let out a chuckle, and I glared at her. "Oh, you're serious." Just love that my sisters also think I look like a guy.

Bubbles bit her lip. She was gonna say something else also. "While you're at it get panties- I don't want to see you wearing any boxer shorts." How dare she! Boxer shorts are so much more comfortable.

"With the makeup go easy on mascara and eyeliner."

Bubbles agreed with her, nodding, "You know what, let's just go with you. You can use our credit cards for some of it."

"You can't just invite yourself! This is a me, Mitch, and Carly thing."

Blossom put down her book and walked over to where Bubbles and I were sitting. "Bubbles and I aren't gonna come with you guys, but if we happen to be at the same mall the same time you are, that's just a coincidence."

I scoffed and made my way out of the living room. "God, I hate you guys."

"You love us!" Bubbles said as I left. Unfortunately she was right.

* * *

I was not looking forward to the weekend. Cringing to myself as we walked I thought about what I just said. I didn't even think those words went together. It was Friday, so waste of a Friday. But the weekend meant Saturday which meant my date with Butch.

Not even a date. Just us going to the skate park and getting ice cream. Nothing crazy like a fancy dinner or a hot air balloon ride. Holy snap. That actually sounds fun.

Hanging out with Butch was fun, that's why we were dating, just the fact that I was going to act like everything is okay when it isn't. The fact he said those things pissed me off, but to enact my revenge I had to act like stereotypical jealous girlfriend.

It was Thursday, I had left Carly's to ask Professor for my credit card and tell my sisters where I was going, now I was on my way to the mall, my sisters close behind. Just as they said they would be.

When we got in, I called Carly.

 _Hey it's me, where do you want us to meet you?_ I said into the phone. Bubbles and Blossom looked at me expectantly.

 _Who's us?_ She asked. Totally slipped my mind that she didn't know they were coming. Carly won't mind, she and Bubbles are friends.

 _My sisters tagged along, hope that's cool._

 _No problem. Meet me and Mitch at Sephora. Gonna get some foundation, blush, pretty much everything._

I gestured for my sisters to follow me as I spoke with Carly. _I don't want to over do it, remember?_

She laughed. _Who said all of it was for you._ I snickered at that. We just passed a yogurt bar. Definitely coming back later.

All of a sudden my phone vibrated. I was getting a call..- from Butch. I hissed and showed the screen to my sisters. "Whaddo I do!"

The phone rang for a while and Bubbles took it and picked up the phone. "No, no," She said it with a thick Spanish accent, "Buttercup no here right now, leave message after beep." She beeped and handed back the phone. "You're welcome." She said.

I just stared at her. She sounded exactly like that Hispanic housemaid in family Guy. Like no joke, I'm shook. I put my phone back in my pocket and we continued to Sephora.

When we got there Carly looked like a clown. For some reason Bubbles and Blossom complimented her on how good she looked. I looked at them like they were crazy. She had so much makeup on it looked like a mask. "If I wanted to see the new IT movie, I'd watch it or just look okay you- same diff if you ask me," I said. Instead of getting offended like I thought she would, she laughed at me.

"You mock me but this is about to happen to you."

My jaw dropped. Oh hell no. Not now, not ever. I was gonna make a run for it.

As if reading my thoughts my sisters held me down. I fought against them. UM HELLO RAPE! I was stronger than both of them, but both of them combined was a different story.

Carly snapped her fingers and two employees came with brushes and makeup tools. They looked painful. **_"NOOOOO!"_**

Blossom rolled her eyes at me. "You're such a drama queen."

When they finished I was kind of pissed off. At one point they took out tweezers and went to work on my eyebrows. If I wanted my eyebrows done I would've done them myself. Now they burned. My face felt heavy, and everytime I tried to rub my eye or scratch my nose someone would slap my hand away.

It took what felt like 15 years but what was actually 30 minutes to finish my makeup. Carly, Bubbles, Blossom, and Mitch walked into the back area where the two store employees raped me in the ass.

Oops, I mean put makeup on me. It's weird how autocorrect works.

Mitch's reaction was priceless. He made a weird noise and said he had to excuse himself. He was covering his crotch so I think he needed to pee. Blossom smirked at me knowingly. She _always_ does that! She's not as smart as she thinks, okay?

Carly looked me over, as if evaluating what else I needed. Bubbles put her hands together and smiled hugely, "You look absolutely _amazing_!"

I hadn't even seen it yet. I got up and walked over to one of those small mirrors. My eyebrows were halfway between thick and thin, my lips were plump and colored with red lipstick. I had faint black eyeshadow and a Cleopatra's eye. To summarize: I looked hot.

"Wow..." The best part about it was it was barely noticeable. It looked natural for the most part. I smiled over at Carly.

She looked more smug then I would accept. "What did I tell you?" I rolled my eyes and refused to answer.

"Whatever." I scoffed at her, dismissing any idea in her head of me saying thank you for what she did. "Can I continue with my day, please?"

"Nope! To Kohl's, Old Navy, Gap, Xpressions, Spencer's, and Target!"

My jaw dropped. She listed the stores as if it was nothing. If hate to go shopping with her on a normal day. "Is that all?" I asked sarcastically, almost regretting it as soon as I said it.

"Actually," Carly gave me a cheeky smile,"Those stores are only for tops." This was going to be a long ass day.

* * *

After at least 4 hours of shopping we had finally taken a break. To get food. And then back to shopping. At one point I had just given up and just let them buy whatever. I tried like a billion clothes on and by that time I didn't even argue about what I did and didn't try on. After the 5th hour it was all a serene, girly blur.

By the time I got home it was like 10 and the first thing I did was collapse onto my bed and put shove all the stuff we bought into my dresser. Of course as soon as I did my sisters both rushed into my room.

"What now?!" I groaned exasperatedly. I covered my face with my pillow and laid face first into my sheets. I wonder if this would be able to kill me.

Bubbles removed the pillow and turned me over. "We just did your makeup! What are you doing smudging it?!"

Oh, so now that I have makeup on I can't relax?! What kind of fucked up universe is this?! "I'm _tired_! Let me get some sleep. I have a thing with Butch tomorrow."

They both raised an eyebrow at the same time. Which I thought was some ESPN shit right there. Blossom gave me a knowing look. Which _annoyed_ me cause she doesn't know shit about me, okay! "What are you guys gonna go? What are you gonna do? How are you gonna dress? Do you think he'll realize you're mad?"

I shrugged and started to go back to my bathroom. Unfortunately my entourage followed me. All I wanted to do was wipe this clown shit off my face. I grabbed a wet nap and started wiping as I spoke. "We're going to the skate park and hanging out I don't know, just what we usually do. You know, Butch and I aren't dating."

"Then what did you do all the girling up for? What's it gonna do?"

So this whole time they didn't know? They thought I _wanted_ this? I scoffed and turned to face them. "No one except me, you guys, and Butch know that Butch and I are dating. So if I start getting dressy and stuff he'll see all the guys that want me and get jealous. Then he'll tell his dumb friends that I _can_ be a girl and I _am_ hot. Look at me! I'm sexy!" I said it as the wet nap wiped makeup off. I had a huge black smudge across my face from the mascara and my lipstick was also everywhere.

They both laughed and started on their way out. Before they left Bubbles turned around. "Take a shower before you sleep, it's good for you. 90% of studies show that taking a shower not only improves your health, but your physical and emotional well-being." I was gonna take a shower anyway- not just because Bubbles spouted that random fact. My body felt dirty from all the makeup and trying on.

Now I know how sexual harassment victims feel.

When I take showers I usually grab my black loofah and the soap and sit down on the bottom of the tub and contemplate my life. The water is usually boiling hot so after I get out it's like a sauna in my bathroom.

After like 30 minutes in the shower I got out and put on my plaid pajama booty shorts and my tank top. Turns out Bubs and Bloss had put out some clothes for me to wear tomorrow before they left. I didn't even bother looking at it. I shoved it off the bed and laid down, sighing. That's the stuff. I checked under my bed and sure enough my Blankie was folded neatly underneath.

No one, not even my sisters or Butch knew I still slept with it.

They didn't have to either. I like people to think I'm tough. That nothing messes with me, that no matter what happens I'd be calm, cool, and collected. Ready to strike on whoever would dare- HOLY MOTHERFUCK! I almost jumped out of my bed. All of a sudden I heard a loud tap on my window.

My room was on the second floor so whoever was there was Butch or some dead fucker with a ladder. I slid it open and sure enough there was Butch floating in front of me. He looked annoyed. "Where have you been!" He yelled it more than asked it. Aw shucks. He was worried. Damn, he was whipped.

I shrugged and started walking back over to my bed. Butch flew in and followed, plopping down on the beanbag next to the bed. "I have stuff to do, I'm a busy person. You're not my priority." Goddamn. How dare he. Look so innocent when he knew what he did. Called me a _boy_! The disrespect!

Butch furrowed his eyebrows and looked even more annoyed than usual. "Well I called then I got this Latino's voicemail or some shit." I tried not to laugh remembering Bubbles' accent but I accidentally let a snicker slip. He cocked his head and blinked. He had this scraggly beard that he hated, but I had to admit I loved it. Whenever he hugged me it scratched my face. Like, I'd never tell him that though. "BC. I'll see you tomorrow but don't worry me like that, okay?"

He hugged me, which was weird cause I was in bed and was out the window before you could say _Butch is a piece of shit._ I rolled my eyes and turned over in my bed, clutching my Blankie.

Now Butch knew about my Blankie.

* * *

 _ **That would be the 2nd chapter in a wrap. What did you think, thoughts? Okay so Review, also Vote on this PLEASE!**_

 _ **A) Chapter with the date, 2 days before homecoming, then homecoming, then aftermath.**_

 _ **B) Just date then Homecoming**_

 _ **C) Just homecoming and aftermath**_

 _ **D) I just shut up and leave the story there.**_

 _ **YOUR VOTES COUNT! :D**_


	3. The Date

_**Title: How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend**_

 ** _Characters: [Buttercup, Butch]; Random People_**

 ** _Rating: T for Totally Teen!_**

 ** _Notes: I didn't realize this story would be so popular. Wow. Thanks for the reviews and stuff I love you guys. Also some news. I'm gonna be bringing my fanfics from my other account to my new account. And I'm gonna be writing oneshots for every pair._**

 ** _For the Blues I'm gonna give you three words. A taxi ride, a reservation, and Valentines Day._**

 ** _For the Greens: They already have their own chapter story. (How to be the Perfect Girlfriend)_**

 ** _For the Reds: An annoying boss, a bikini, and a fake illness._**

* * *

Okay. Okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Don't worry. Bouta thang... every little thing.. gon' be alright. Got my Bob Marley on. I got up at 9. Which is probably the earliest I've ever gotten up on a Saturday. Part of me was completely terrified, the other part of me is impressed about how determined I was to do this.

Anyway my alarm woke me up at 9 and I was brushing my teeth in the mirror. My hair was all over the place and I'd already folded up Blankie for tonight. I brushed each and every one of my tooths and then took a shower. This time I scrubbed everywhere and even washed my hair.

I had forgotten my new shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and loofah in my bags from last night so I just used my old ones. My comfortable ones.

I grabbed my towel from where it was hanging and wiped myself down. The bathroom felt like a sauna after my long, hot bath. As soon as I left my room I let out a high pitched scream. Blossom and Bubbles were in my room- and giess what evil, despicable, absolutely goddamn horrible thing they were doing. They were _cleaning_ my room.

"What are you _doing_?!" I screamed at them. My mirror/dresser was arranged. The bags I had dumped on the floor the previous night were being folded into drawers by Bloss. My bed was dressed and Bubbles was picking up things off the floor.

Bubbles held one of my boxer shorts up. "We're _cleaning_." She threw it into my hamper. Those were the ones I was gonna wear today.

"But it's _my_ room. Do you guys just get a kick out of getting into my personal space? Do you guys _not_ know what it says on my front door?" I paused for dramatic effect, because yeah I'm like that. "It says: Keep Out. It even has a skeleton on it! Blossom!" She looked at me. "Do you know what keep out means?!"

Blossom cleared her throat. "It means-"

"IT MEANS STAY OUTTA MY ROOM. Now get out! Git! Git!" I shooed them away until they were out the door and in the hallway.

I started to push them out but before leaving Bubs added one more thing. " The outfit is on the dresser, I can-"

" _Nope_! Out!" And I pushed her out. Now that I was alone I plopped onto my bed. Ugh. Siblings. I went onto my phone and saw that Butch had texted me. _Skatepark at 2._

That made me roll my eyes. No _please_. No _good morning_. He was just so annoyingly non caring. Not like I wanted a guy that was joined to me by the hip and asking if I was okay 24/7. I liked that he wasn't like other guys but at the same time it pissed me off.

I texted back _K_ and groaned. It was only like 9:30 now and I was already bored out of my mind. I put on my boxer shorts cause I didn't give a damn about what Bubbles thought about them. They were comfortable and I loved them. I pulled a sports bra over my head, put my hair in a messy ponytail and walked down the stairs as loud as I could.

Bubbles was on the couch eating cereal and Blossom was at the table probably already doing her weekend homework. Bubbles spit out lucky charms and milk. "Is that what you're wearing to the date?!"

I rolled my eyes and ignored her. I grabbed the remote and put on Stranger Things. Ain't no one messing with _my_ Saturday.

* * *

"Do you _love_ it?"

Bubbles had just finished my makeup. It was now 2:13 and I was late to the date. When I binge watch I binge watch hard. I just couldn't stop. Episode after episode. At least twice Netflix had said "Are you still watching Stranger Things?" and each time I had clicked yes without any shame. Anyway the makeup I had on was only the least bit of eyeshadow. Bubbles wanted to go harder with it but I refused. I had a eyeliner wing thing- totally forgot what that's called. Bubbles put some ooze on my face that made it look shiny. I forgot what _that's_ called too. So many names for this makeup crap. I had red lipstick and some blush. But somehow all natural. It was blasphemy.

I was still wearing boxer shorts and a sports bra. Bubbles finished and I tried to shoo her away so I could dress up. " _Get out woman!_ " I had stopped asking nicely as you can see here.

"Okay, but first put on this." She handed me one of my new flannels, a new bra, leggings, and booty shorts. Woah! A little slutty, aren't we?

Slapping it out of her hand, I made a face at her. "Are you crazy! No way in _hell_ am I wearing that! I am not conforming to these feminine ways. I will dress like a guy if I _please_ and there is nothing you can do it about it. Do you understand?"

She nodded and placed the stuff down. She looked like she was walking out but instead she went to the doorway and yelled. "BLOSS!" I jumped. Just like that Blossom was behind me. "Hold her down."

"Woah. This is-" Then just like that I was dressed in this outfit. I don't even know what happened. Everything was a blur. A huge, sexual harassment blur. But I had to admit. It looked good.

I wasn't going to _tell_ them that though.

* * *

Usually when I'm late I fly. As fast as I can. But there was no way I was flying in this get up. The only people who'd see me were people who weren't Butch and my sisters. I grabbed my skateboard and walked.

My skateboard is _the_ best skateboard you will ever see in your years. It had a skull on the back and was black and green on the front and the wheels were the best money could buy. I even had Professor sick them out so they'd go faster. I have the hook up, as you can see.

When I got to the skateboard park I saw Butch waiting there on a bench playing a game on his phone or something. Classy. I called out to him. "Butch! I'm late, yeah, but I have a perfect expl-"

" _Whaaat_ are you wearing?" He interrupted me and got up, looking me over. All of a sudden I felt self conscious and nervous. His eyes just scanned everywhere and his jaw had dropped. " _Wha..Wha- wHaT are you wearing?!_ "

I shrugged nonchalantly, brushing it off and stepping onto my skateboard. "Y'know. Clothes." He was still staring and I had now felt my face getting hot. "Can we start?" Instead of answering he made a weird noise. I groaned and skated away. He followed.

"W-wait, BC." He panted a little. "Why'd you-Why are you-? Who made you- uh? Y'know." I gave him a weird look. He was making no sense. He wanted a hot girlfriend he got one. What more could he possibly want?

"Butch." I looked him dead in the eye. He knew when I meant business because that's what I always do. "I just got new clothes-okay? Nothing more. So just stop with the shit. We're on our like second date and right now it's not fun. So can you stop checking me out and act like a better secret boyfriend."

He only started paying attention when I had said stop checking me out. He cleared his throat and flipped his board so it landed in his hands. "Uh- yeah in that case we could go to the movies." I was about to tell him about how the movies weren't in my schedule and I had shit to do. But before I could decline he put his hands on my shoulders. "Before you say no just think about it. I'll pay for popcorn, soda, anything you want."

An idea so evil and horrific went through my head. I could annoy him the _whole_ time. I could keep asking who the characters were telling him I was freezing even if it was hot, and I could make a big deal out of him looking at a girl. God, so many ideas. So many evil, evil ideas.

I gave him a huge smile that was probably really similar to the Grinch's and said, "Sure, Butchie-poo."

He crinkled his nose at the nickname but didn't say anything about it. "Uh, yeah okay. Let's go."

* * *

"I'll take the next person in line." Right now Butch and I were in line to buy tickets. We walked up to the next cashier.

I flashed a flirty smile. Gotta keep Butch on his toes. "Hi, I'd like two tickets to Happy Death Day."

The cashier was a guy named Ray and when I talked to him Butch would furrow his eyebrows. Ray laughed. "Oh, you guys together? Have fun on your date."

"Actually, we're not dating. Just friends." I threw in a wink for fun. According to Butch we weren't dating too, so he couldn't get mad. I looked at him from the corner of my eye and he was tense as fuck. Hah. Payback was great.

Ray rose his eyebrow. "In that case..." He took out a pen and scribbled numbers on my ticket. "Enjoy your movie." Did he just wink? He did! "Next!"

This was already so much fun. Butch looked tense. "Wanna get some food? Movie doesn't start for another 8 minutes." I shrugged and we both walked over to the line. Butch looked awkward, as if he didn't know what to say. This was out second official secret date overall and we hadn't really done the dating thing/

"Hi, what can I get you?" I was gonna do the flirting thing again but it was a girl this time. Oh, perfect. I can pull the jealous girlfriend act.

Butch cleared his throat. "Actually, I'd like one XL popcorn, two medium sodas and one box of milk duds." Butch looked at me expectantly.

"I'll take sour patch watermelon." God, he was staring at her tits wasn't she. Excuse me, her eyes are up there _Butch_.

She typed everything in and then looked at Butch. "What kind of soda? We have sprite, fanta, moutain dew, and pepsi." She was flirting with him too! Was it not obvious the two of us were on a date? Oh wait- according to Butch we aren't dating. I still can't believe he said that. But, revenge will come in due time.

"Both mountain dew please."

She typed in more stuff and finally said with a smile. Don't flirt with my boyfriend, bitch. "That'll be 143.68." Movie theater food prices. No surprise there. He payed for everything and I was about to grab everything when I remembered I was mad at him.

Insead of helping him get the stuff I pulled out my purse and got my lip gloss. "Butchie-poo, do you mind?"

He cleared his throat and grabbed everything. "Uh..sure. Sugar..lips?" God this was hilarious. It took everything for me _not_ to laugh. He had even tried to give me my own nickname. As much as I hate to admit it I actually liked the nickname BC or Butterbutt. He hasn't used those since we got together though. I smiled as we went to the room for our movie. Number 12 I was pretty sure.

When we got there Butch gave me my soda and my candy. But instead of saying thanks I crossed my arms and glared at him. "Aren't you gonna say something?" He gave me a quizzical look. I groaned exasperatedly. He was so clueless. "You were _so_ flirting with that _ugly_ cashier girl!" He looked absolutely speechless and I continued. "Like honestly- do you even like me?" Okay bringing in the tears. I started to sob. Just the noises though, I'm not good with fake crying. "Are my breasts not good enough for you?" A bunch of gasps and _tsks tsks_ were heard from the people already sitting down.

Butch however was freaking out. I don't think he's ever seen me upset or not cussing him out before. I could feel his awkwardness. I thought he would just give up and apologize but he didn't, he got just as mad as me. "Ex _cuse_ me? You flirted with the ticket guy right in _front_ of my fucking face! You have his number right in your hand- and you're telling me that?"

I was about to slap him. But I didn't. It's a little thing called self-control hun. I just cried harder until he started to feel guilty. And what was kinda annoying was the fact that it took him a while to get guilted out. But hey, whatever.

He sighed reluctantly,"Jesus. Okay, BC. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Just stop crying I'm sorry. Buttercup? BC..?" He put his arm around my shoulder and tried to hug me. I would've continued fake-crying but the people started to glare at Butch. I thought they'd start throwing shit but that would've been too far, considering the prices at this damn place. He gave me a kiss on the nose. Ew. He probably went on wiki-how and looked up how to be a good boyfriend. I sniffed and wiped a non-existent tear of my eyelash.

"Oh _Butchie_! How could I _ever_ stay mad at you?" For emphasis I took his cheek and squeezed. He practically pushed my hand away and gave an uncomfortable laugh. The movie had started already so I settled in with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder. If I'm being honest it was actually pretty nice. Then I remembered I was mad. I sipped my soda as loud as I could, then I took my box of candy and made a ton of noise with the wrapper. I did it for like 45 seconds which was a lot considering it was quiet in the theater.

Pretty soon Butch turned to me and grabbed the candy. "Need help with that?" He didn't even wait for me to answer, he just ripped it open and handed it back. Then he turned his head back to the movie. Wow. I was pissing him off. And before we were dating if he got pissed off he'd express it- he'd yell at me and we'd argue but now all he did was keep it inside. Pretty soon he'd explode.

The rest of the movie I kept quiet and watched. Mostly because it was actually pretty interesting. Butch and I would both laugh at the parts where Tree, the girl in the movie, got murdered. It was just hilarious. There was a part in the movie where a guy was watching gay porn and he had tapped my shoulder and whispered _Boomer_ and I almost choked on my popcorn. Another time I reached for some popcorn and I accidentally felt his hand and it was just- wow.

When it ended he stretched and got up, holding the trash. "Ready to go?"

I was about to burp but I somehow didn't allow myself. Jesus. I ate 3/4 of the popcorn, all my candy, and drank all my soda. Butch was holding all of it in his hands and didn't look the slightest bit annoyed. That's not acceptable. I looked up at Butch with my lip trembling. "You think I'm fat don't you?!" I yelled it so loud that people leaving stopped where they were and turned towards me and Butch. It was all of a sudden so he almost jumped.

"Wha-?"

"That's the reason you bought an extra large popcorn isn't it? Because you _had_ to satisfy my _needs_ huh?" I heard someone from the crowd go _Ooooooh_ and Butch just stood there completely speechless. I continued with my rant. "You thought: _Hey BC wouldn't last with a small popcorn, I should get an XL because she's sooooo **fat**_."

He slammed the trash on the ground angrily. "Ex _cuse_ me?!" Okay Butch, you aren't a white girl. Stop with the excusing. That's like the 15th time he's said it too. "Did I _tell_ you to eat all the popcorn?! You ate it on your own! I got an XL because we were _sharing_ maybe if you hadn't hogged it you wouldn't be feeling like a fatass!" I gasped overdramatically and grabbed my heart as if I was having a heart attack. He rolled his eyes. "And the overdramatism! We haven't even been dating long and you're already acting like a crazy bitch! If I wanted to date a crazy bitch I would've said yes to Princess!"

Okay. Ouch. I hadn't even meant to eat most of the popcorn but now he was actually pissing me off. He had even compared me to Princess! He knows how much I hate being compared to other people- but to disgrace my name enough to compare me to _Princess_! What the hell was he thinking?! I stood up and glared at him fiercely. "I'm not the one who talked through the _whole_ movie! We all know you thought it was Lori! Congrats! You can google a movie ending! You're not a fucking detective Butch."

"I might as well be! I freaking thought dating you would be fun. I thought that if we made really good friends we'd make an even better couple, but I guess I was wrong. Congrats. Your bitch sister was right. This isn't working. We're done." He was twitching and he only did that when be was beyond frustrated and pissed. One of my sisters had said Butch and I wouldn't work out. Okay BC deal with that later.

I was about to say something but before I could Mr. Drama Queen flew out of the theater ceiling. Some rubble fell from his exit and I moved over so I wouldn't get crushed to death. Exes, am I right? Exes. I felt weird. I felt like- I don't know what I felt. The people who had been watching had walked away awkwardly. Sure I wasn't thinking Butch and I would get _married_ or anything but I hadn't expected him to break up with me over this.

It was not exactly what I expected to happen.

* * *

I had walked home. Outside it had started to rain and flying in the rain is unpleasant. It had taken a while to walk but it had given me a lot of time to think. I had to get Butch to forgive me. What I had done was the dumbest thing ever. I should've just asked Butch about what he had said to those guys and asked him to explain- or just something that wasn't what I did. I shouldn't have done that.

When I did get home Butch was sitting on the front steps. He was soaked from head to toe and his usually spiky hair was wet. I mean- I was just as wet but from the looks of it he had been waiting there for me. When he noticed me he perked up and in a flash he was over to me. It happened so fast I almost fell. Well I was in the middle of falling when he caught me.

"What the-!"

He grabbed my arm and had his hand on the small of my back. "Are you okay?" It was straight out of a Disney Princess movie. I almost threw up, I swear. I mean maybe I liked a little- but barely. I cleared my throat and nodded- my tongue was tied. Butch put me up straight, let go of me, and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, okay? You thought I called you fat and I yelled. I don't know why but I just flipped, BC. Just the whole time- with the flirting and the whatever. I know we aren't dating publicly and stuff but I want you to know I really like you."

Ugggghhh. I had no idea what to say! I just stared intently at him. It's the only way I could avoid an awkward moment. "Are we cool? Back together?" When he asked he gave me a quick smile. I didn't really know what to say. Truth be told I was blushing- only a little though. I nodded limply and he gave me a biggest smile I had ever seen from him. "Awesome okay. So I'm going to Maine with Mojo and the guys tomorrow but Monday I'll get you for school. Okay?" I nodded again. I wasn't really paying attention. He gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug and flew off.

I could make one out of three decisions. I could forgive Butch and let go of it. I could continue with this charade and possibly break up Butch and I. Or I could just screw around with him. I think the last thing was more my style because let's be honest.

My flirting could use some work.

* * *

 _ **Notes:**_

 _ **Hey guysss! I'm sorry this took so long. I hope you liked it. It was SUPER long. Most of my chapters for this story are like 2k, but this is almost 4k. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**_

 _ **The next one will be out by I think the 21st (of what month you ask?) JKJK Later this week. I want you guys to be proud :D**_

 _ **I do have other stories that you should check out. And a blues story coming out soon. So yeah. Follow me. Read my other stories. Why nottt?**_

 _ **KAY BYE**_


	4. Oh No He Didn't!

_**Title: How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend**_

 ** _Characters: [Buttercup, Butch]_**

 ** _Rating: T for Totally Teen!_**

 ** _Notes:_** _ **Wow! Fourth Chapter already!**_

* * *

They were staring again. God, I hated when they did that. Just reading me like a book. Smile and wave, boys. I miss that show. I awkwardly smiled at them and they just continued to stare. What was I, a paragraph? Geez. I was about to walk past the living room but they just stopped me before I could go up the stairs. They stood right in front of the doorwat

"Well?" Blossom and Bubbles both looked at me expectantly. I gave them a weird look. What could they possibly want? I knew what I wanted. Sleep. Rest. Matulog. Schlaf. Dormire. And the word _sleep_ in 20 other languages if 4 weren't enough.

Blossom rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She tried to pull off an intimidating glare. Okay honey, that's my look. "What happened on the date!" Oh yeah. I had totally forgotten. My mind had been somewhere else. Just thinking. About what had happened. Not that there was anything to think about. I mean maybe there was, I had to make a decision you know and it wasn't like I could go back in time and un-hear what Butch had said- and it wasn't the easiest thing to just forgive him. I was just torn, right now and-

And I was tuning out again. "Oh yeah, it was okay." Bubbles gave me her bubblevicious glare. I knew she meant business with that one look. I had to tell them everything- if there was even anything I needed to tell. "I pissed Butch off and he broke up with me at the movie theater." -they gasped-," Then by the time I got home he was on the steps begging me to take him back and apologizing and whatever." I shrugged like it didn't matter. "No biggie." They acted like it was huge- like they had just found out the Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Reynolds had a baby, and that baby had just turned their age. It was crazy.

They just continued to freak out. They said a ton of stuff that totally made no sense- all I heard was a bunch of screaming and/or demonic cries.

I covered my ears and cringed. "One at a time ladies, you're both beautiful." They both rolled their eyes and I sighed. "I actually don't know what I'm gonna do. Maybe I'll forgive or maybe I won't. I don't know. Plus I'm not even-"

"That's it?!" Bubbles groaned and stomped away. I gave Blossom a questioning look and she mouthed _Time of month_.

Yikes. Whenever it was Bubbles' time she constantly got mad at everything and anything. Like me, but only for 3-7 days. I walked past Blossom and up the stairs to my room. My clothes were damp since I had walked in the rain. I changed into shorts and a tank top and put my hair in a towel. It had taken me at the most 20 minutes because at one point I had laid down on my bed and contemplated the meaning of life.

When I laid in bed it had taken me a while to notice that the window was open. Rain was flooding in and I cursed out loud. "Who the fuck-" I was so mad I didn't even finish my sentence. When I got up to close it I stepped on a piece of paper.

Weird. I picked it up and read it, almost ripping it because it was damp. It had a huge red heart and on the bottom Butch signed his name. Where does he find time to do this? Like honestly! How had he gone home, printed the paper, took time to write his name, come to my house, opened my window and just slid it in. It would've been amazing if he'd _closed_ the window- but hey: he's not perfect.

I was gonna put it away but before I could I heard Blossom's voice over my shoulder. "Whatcha got there?" I almost jumped out of my shorts. It's like they have no sense of personal space whatsoever! 5 minutes of free time! All I ask!

"What the hell are you doing here!" I yelled at her. To escape any questions I had stuffed the paper in my pocket.

Blossom rose her hands and scoffed at my reaction. She looked suspicious and tried to peek at what was in my pocket. "I was just gonna tell you Mitch and Carly were here to see you, but if you're gonna freak out that's also cool." What were they doing here? If they wanted to hang out why didn't they text me first to warn me?

I went down the stairs and there they were sitting in the living room. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. " _What_ are you guys doing here?"

Carly did the same thing I did, giving me an equal glare. Excuse me! Was she trying to mock me? "We just came to hang out, it's like you totally forgot how to hang with friends. It's like-" Suddenly she stopped talking and she narrowed her eyes. "What's that?" She was pointing to the paper I had shoved into my pocket.

Oh shit. They were gonna ask questions and make assumptions and- I was just too tired for that crap. I shoved the paper deep into my pocket and tried to change the subject. "Nothing- just paper. Anyway- have you thought about filing your taxes yet?" Horrible discussion topic- but I couldn't think of anything else.

Every eye on the room was on me. Blossom from the recliner, Mitch from the couch, Carly from in front of me, and even Bubbles poked a head in from the kitchen.

Seconds passed and nothing happened, then Bubbles shrieked. "Hold her down!" And before I knew what happened Carly lunged at my legs and I fell over before I could fly up to my room.

Before I knew it Bubbles and Blossom were each holding down one of my arms and I flailed around for freedom. Mitch was the only one who wasn't betraying me. My only trusted compadre- the Mark Anthony among many Cassiuses.

"Mitch! _Mitch!_ Help me! Help meeee! I'm dying! Help me! My own friend and family have conspired and stabbed me in the back! I'm gonna-" Bubbles used her free hand to cover my mouth which was ballsy considering it was already hard for her to hold on to my arm with two hands. That daredevil, her! I had even tried my best to bite her and lick her, just to freak her out and get her to get her hands off.

Carly started shrieking for Mitch too. Excuse me! He's _my_ best friend! "Mitch! Grab the paper!" Before I knew it Mitch held the paper in his hands. He opened it and un-crinkled it as everyone loosened me. I wanted to glare at Carly and hit my sisters over the head but I was too busy worrying about what they would think once they saw. "What does it say?"

Mitch looked at me like a kicked puppy. "He loves you?" For some reason he looked surprised, annoyed, and disappointed. His voice even cracked. I sneered at him and everybody else who had literally just been holding me down. I snatched the paper out of his hands and rolled my eyes, almost ripping it.

"It's literally just a heart and his name. Don't read into it." I muttered the last part under my breath and shoved it back into my pocket flippantly. They made it seem like such a big deal. Carly had a hand on her chin as she thought hard and Bubs had her hands on her hips looking me over while Bloss had resumed reading on the couch. Mitch had taken a seat and was staring at me like I killed his mom. "What?" Honestly.

Bubbles took a _way_ over exaggerated sigh and strode over to me, putting both her hands on my shoulders and making me look her in the eye. God, she knew I hated that. "Buttercup." She took another sigh and did this thing catholics do and sighed another dramatic sigh. "I hate to be the one to tell you this-" She paused and then shrugged. "Actually, no I don't, but Butch is in love with you." She was smiling widely, like it was a good thing.

Oh please. I smacked her hands away and plopped down next to Mitch. I put one leg over the other and scoffed. "Bubs, I don't want to rain on your parade-" I paused just like she had. "Oh, wait yes I do. That's not true at all- Butch and I _just_ started dating. There's no way he does. Plus I'd break up with him if that was true." From the surprised looks on everyone's faces it wasn't the right answer. "It wasn't like we were going to get married or anything." I snorted, like it was a joke. And it was. Only like 1 percent of high school sweethearts get together- I was being realistic. Life's not some fairy tale where it's hearts and sparkles at the end.

Carly's eyebrows furrowed. "What would be so wrong with that?" What would be wrong with that actually? I guess I'd never really thought of getting married to Butch. We had literally only been together for I think a month now. I shrugged and sunk farther into the couch. By now I'd have buttcheek mark in it.

Blossom snickered behind her book and my glare immediately went to her. She gave me a smug look and placed down her book. I could've sworn she was on the same page as 10 minutes ago- but whatever. "BC. In my opinion-"

"I didn't ask." I quickly said- my glare intensifying on her.

"In my opinion." She still continued nevertheless. I couldn't help but laugh at the fact she knew I'd interrupt. "I think you and Butch would be perfect. Here's how I see it. Your wedding day. 10 years from now- 2 if you guys can't figure out birth control." I was about to give her crap about that but she continued. Everyone had laughed at that! Bubbles and Carly even settled into their seats on their floor and Mitch looked pretty interested too. I rolled my eyes anyway. I guess this would be interesting.

 _ **Buttercup glared angrily at the Caterer, almost ripping out the woman's throat. "What the hell is this?" She pointed towards the tables of food. One specifically for appetizers. "I said I wanted the mini burgers with a side of mini fries. This is mini fries with a side of one mini burger! Explain now!" Her eyes were full of fire and hatred, all directed at a sole person. It was as if the devil incarnate had come to reign it's evil, monstrous, hatred-filled, malicious, nefarious, pain and suffering with evil and torment and evil, so, so much evil. When the Caterer looked into Buttercup's eyes she only saw her own death and her burning body in the fiery pits of hell and torturous agonizing-**_

When everybody laughed I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. She had gone a little far with the over exaggeration. It was a little funny- and I had to admit it did sound like something I'd say, do, and influence- if I do say so myself.

 _ **The Caterer nodded and apologized quickly, running off in tears. Buttercup couldn't stop her malicious grin afterwards. But it stopped when she saw that the tower of fried chicken Butch had insisted on getting was a Leaning Tower of Fried Chicken. It went to about 10 feet high and that much oil and crumbs on the floor would kill her. She yelled up at the guy assembling the chicken and growled angrily.**_

 _ **"And what the hell is this?!" It almost came out as a she-devil yell. The guy stacking them almost fell off the ladder. Her glare alone was causing him heartburn. "If I wanted the leaning tower of chicken I would've asked! If even one of those drumsticks fall I will sue your ass so hard, it'll see black and blue. Fix it before I fix your face-"**_

 _ **Suddenly arms wrapped around her waist and a head fit perfectly between her neck and shoulder, making her gasp. She was about to start pissing again but she recognized the smell of too much cologne immediately. A smile formed on her face, getting rid of worry wrinkles. "I think you've scared him enough." He said, almost amused. He gave the fried chicken stacker an apologetic glance and he walked his fiance away from what she thought was about to be a horrible wedding. "I hope you're not reading too into this. I just wanted a small thing and suddenly we have a 10 foot tower of chicken- I know I asked for it but I was drunk and kidding. Never take me seriously!" That made her laugh. He smiled. "Just relax, okay. This wedding is going to be amazing." He turned her around and held her shoulder and gave her a light kiss. "How's that for supporting husband?" He waited patiently for a yes.**_

 _ **"It's almost like you didn't practice in front of a mirror." She snorted. Butch made a move to take the clipboard away from her but she was too quick. "Okay, in a sec, but first I need to check to make sure my dress arrived. And that- OH MY GOD!" She shoved everything aside and almost sprinted to the other side of the wedding hall, the side open to the garden.**_

 _ **"What the HELL is this?" She almost screams at the top of her lungs. Butch had run over to catch up. She was gesturing at the broken down motorcycle that had a shoddily drawn Just Married on the back. She was flipping out. "I asked for a Harley Davidson not this OBVIOUSLY knocked off version. I want you to return this god awful motorcycle immediately and get me a real one."**_

 _ **The guy that had brought the motorcycle in his truck looked disheveled. The hoodie he was wearing had stains and his hair was messy. " 'Scuse me miss, but I can't just return it. Chu rented it fo' two days rig't?" He was drunk. That much was obvious. She groaned and stomped her foot, tightening her grip on the clipboard.**_

 _ **"Return it now! Bring me a new one by the ceremony at 8!"**_

 _ **"But, miss I-"**_

 _ **"La, la, la, la! I can't hear you over the sound of you returning it! Bye! See you at 7:30-7:45 with the new motorcycle." She briskly walked away, and over to her sisters who were holding her dress in a plastic bag.**_

 ** _Blossom looked absolutely stunning as always- and she had had Ryan Reynolds on her side, who had been staring at her nonstop. Telling her many times that her eyes were the eyes only a god could dream of. That her curves were like the many hills of the Rocky Mountains. That her hair flowed like-_**

"Get to the point, Bloss." I said, interrupting her story. Bloss did this all the time- talking about her self like that. Like she was Princess Morbucks all of a sudden. She cleared her throat with a smirk and continued her story.

 _ **Bubbles smiled and showed her the dress she had ordered. "Isn't it beautiful! Butch is gonna flip when he sees you in this." Buttercup turned around, to make sure that Butch hadn't seen the dress. Luckily he hadn't because he had stayed behind to argue with the Caterer. The ice cream for the make your own sundae bar had melted and all they had salvaged was strawberry. From here (at least 300 feet away) you could hear his exasperated yells.**_

 _ **"Who the**_ **fuck** _ **likes Strawberry?!"**_

 _ **Buttercup sighed and looked over her clipboard one more time. "Everything is failing- one by one and I feel like I'm just preparing for a wedding that's going to end in disaster. The tower, the appetizers, the dessert, even the-" She stopped talking once she saw. The guy driving the truck that had the motorcycle had driven himself into the open part of the hall while backing up, almost knocking down the chicken tower. Buttercup's heart almost stopped.**_

 _ **"What the HELL IS THIS?" She screamed, running over as fast as her feet could go. The drunk driver was getting out and she was ready to not only beat him with her clipboard but her words too. "Is there something wrong with you?! Simple instructions! Maybe next time save the whiskey for after hours. I wanted a good wedding, I wanted cookies and cream ice cream, I wanted RIHANNA AT MY WEDDING. I wanted.." She droned on, but little did she know that behind her was the table of fried chicken and it was tilting, ready to come down.**_

 _ **The driver attempted to say something. "Uh, miss-" He tried pointing behind her and grabbing her attention during the rant but she had slapped away his hand sharply. It turned red and he felt like blood was spouting from his now broken appendage.**_

 _ **"Don't you dare interrupt me, you little fucker." Her growl came out so low and hoarse the driver knew it would be the sound of his nightmares for the rest of his life. "I want you out of here. I'm going to sue your ass for damages, for distress, for wasting my goddamn time, and my hospital visit for high blood pressure. You know I know the best lawyer in the country, my awesome sister Blossom. So I'm telling you- if one more thing goes wrong today- I'm gonna flip my shit!" A loud creaking noise sounded after her monologue and she turned around just in time to be pelleted with what looked like hundreds of thousands of chicken drumsticks that fell onto none other than Buttercup. More on more on more. It was a beating.**_

 _ **Or as one would say: a meating.**_

 _ **Then she died.**_

 _ **The end.**_

Blossom was dying with laughter at her own joke, even Bubbles was laughing a little. Mitch was hiding a chuckle and Carly was dying. The whole entire story was leading up to my death by fried chickening. I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Bloss was annoying but at times she had her charms

Were they crazy? How was my death hilarious! "How is that romantic? That's what you think when you imagine me and Butch's wedding?" Instead of listening at all Bubbles stood up smiling. She was raising her hand and jumping up and down like she used to do when she needed to pee.

"Ooh, ooh my turn! I wanna tell a story."

When the hell did this become a thing? I groaned and rolled my eyes, about to take a nap in my room. "BC, aren't you gonna stay for the stories? They're hilarious."

"I'm tired, and you guys are annoying me more than usual. By the way, Mitch mall tomorrow?" He nodded, then turned back to his phone.

Blossom furrowed her eyebrows. "Aren't you going to hang out with Butch tomorrow?"

I gave her a look. "Uh, no. Butch, his brothers, and Mojo are doing something all day tomorrow." I started laughing," You really don't know what your boyfriends are doing? Wow, good relationships, huh." They just looked at me funny, kinda with what looked like pity?

Bubbles gave me a weird look. "Boomer and I are hanging out _all_ day tomorrow."

"Weird." Blossom added,"Brick and I are going to the movies and cuddling in front of the TV all day tomorrow too." She made an awkward face. Yeah, they were gonna have sex. She thinks she's _so_ smart- hiding it like that. Nah. They were cuddling tomorrow all right- with no _clothes_."Butch lied to you. What do you think he's doing?" She paused. I was already making my way out of the living room. "What are you gonna do?" Too many questions. My brain hurt. I was tired. Right now I just wanted sleep.

My eyes were burning for some reason, and I felt my face get warmer too. I think the Professor's been putting the heat up- why else would I feel so hot all of a sudden. I cleared my throat and shrugged, like it didn't matter. And it didn't. Didn't matter at all that Butch had lied. No matter. It was totally cool too. Why did it feel like I was convincing myself?

"I'm just gonna get some shut eye. It's getting late." I glanced at the time and it was only 6. I was known for staying up late. I added a fake yawn, just to make sure they believed me. I'm not sure they did because all I got were pity looks.

Carly gave a dry smile. "Night. Hope you and Mitch have fun tomorrow."

"You're not coming?" I asked. If it was only Mitch and I then we could also go to that new arcade- Carly was always too girly for that.

"Date with Brad." I nodded and left the room. When I was walking up the stairs I heard a bunch of hushed whispers. No doubt they were talking about it. I groaned and continued walking up the stairs until I reached my bed. Then I plopped face first into my pillow and wallowed.

I pulled out my phone ready to play Jetpack Joyride and/or Subway Surfers. But I saw a few texts from Butch. That made me want to curl up in my bed and just sleep.

So I did.

* * *

 _ **I liked writing this. My favorite part to write was Blossom's telling of BC's wedding. I got that part from the movie Over Her Dead Body- WHICH I LOVED AND RECOMMEND!**_

 _ **Anyway- Blues story coming out soon. :D Probably a one-shot, unless I decide on something.**_

 _ **You'll get it later!**_

 ** _KAY BYE!_**


	5. PINK with Jealousy

**_Title: How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend_**

 ** _Chapter: PINK with Jealousy_**

 ** _Characters: [Buttercup, Butch]_**

 ** _Rating: T for Totally Teen!_**

 _ **Notes: Just let the record show I started the next chapter at 12/5/2017 at 5:12 am. But I wrote 2k words on 12/19/17. Finished and read through 12/22/2017. Also Happy Holidays.**_

* * *

As soon as I got up I went back to sleep. I was just way too tired to function. It was like 11 already and my brain, my body, and my everything felt tired. Even my brain felt tired. Wait- I said that already. See? You see that? Proof!

I heard talking downstairs and yelled as loud as I could. Whoever it was was being just loud enough so I could hear, but not loud enough so I could interpret what they were saying. "SHUT IT!"

Ouch. Bad idea on my part. My headache did not fix itself. Yelling did not help. Not at all. And the talking didn't stop either. I covered my head with my pillow and groaned as loud as I could. Life sucks.

Butch was doing who knows what today. He lied for me for unknown reasons and he obviously wanted to keep what he was doing a secret. But why? He had apologized! And I was pretty sure I was going to forgive him! Maybe! Probably! I don't! Know! Talking like this feels good!

I groaned into my pillow again. This was a nice way to kill time. Speaking of time, it was 11:27 and Mitch and I were meeting up at the mall at 2. I don't know what's up with me and hanging at 2. It just seems like a realistic time. I usually wake up at 12, two hours to eat and watch TV, and I'd obviously be late so 10 minutes to get ready. Full proof plan!

 _Ugh._ Might as well get up now. Extra 30 minutes to watch American Vandal. Maybe eat some cinnamon toast crunch. Hopefully today would be good day.

At least that's what I was thinking when I found the Professor in the living room with Ms. Keane. I would tell you what they were doing but words cannot express the amount of disgust and surprise that came from me. "Oh, hey P- oh **_GOD_** why? **_Why?!_** " Gagging and choking. Gagging and choking! I almost couldn't even see Ms Keane's _face_.

The Professor looked embarrassed and stopped sucking off Ms. Keane's face. "Oh. Buttercup." He gave me a nervous chuckle while I awkwardly backed into the kitchen. "I, uh, thought you were out with your sisters."

No, because their boyfriends weren't lying assholes. I snorted while I poured my cereal. "Nope, but calm your pretty little lab coat down; I was gonna leave at-"

" _Going to_ leave. Not gonna. Gonna isn't a word, Buttercup." Ms Keane said. She had quit her job as a preschool instructor and become an AP Language teacher at Pokey Oak High.

Ms Keane is cool or whatever but she could be a real pain. My eyes narrowed and I almost died trying my best not to glare or roll my eyes. "I was _going to_ leave at 2 but I guess I could go early for you lovebirds."

For fun I even added a little eyebrow waggle. They both blushed and turned back to the TV. I ate in the kitchen and checked messages on my phone.

Butch had texted a good morning at like 8. That's early. Especially for him. We were known for sleeping in- but here he was waking up at _8_. Whatever he was doing there was commitment and dedication. I decided not to say anything back- he'd probably think I was still sleeping anyway.

Bloss had forwarded me a huge paragraph about the importance of sleeping early and getting up early. I responded with a _Thanks, but no thanks_.

Bubbles had sent me a text saying good luck with whatever you decide to do about he who shall not be named. I loved that she said that because I'm more sure than ever that she does _not_ get the reference. Even I read the books- and I hate reading. I texted back thanks, you to with lbb. LBB being Little Boy Blue.

Then finally Mitch. He had asked how much he should bring and how long we were gonna hang. I said everything and all day because if there was anything I needed it was a distraction from my problem. Wow. Nothing like a distraction from a problem. I should be a therapist- Dr. Phil wasn't all that. Dr. BC Utonium, PhD.

While I was sitting there at the table, hearing my dad and his girlfriend giggle like they were in middle school all I could think about was what Butch was doing.

God. I hope he's not having fun. And if he is it's a bad type. Is there a bad type of fun? Whatever. Just whatever he's doing he better be thinking about me and feeling guilty for lying.

I just wanted to smash his skull in, ugh! Okay maybe that's far but it was definitely a start.

* * *

"Butch." I whipped around immediately, turning to Rex when he said my name. Of course. He just had to distract me when I was the most busy- about to beat my high score in the Pac-Man arcade game in the mall. What could be a worse time to distract me!

I gave him a glare. "I was busy." I spat out. He was looking through the window. So was Kevin. Which was weird because they should've been paying attention to me beating their asses.

Kevin pointed out the window and looked confused. "Is that Buttercup?" He sounded completely utterly surprised and shocked. That's weird. BC shouldn't be here. I looked in the direction he was pointing and my jaw dropped.

Walking with Mitch was _my_ girlfriend Buttercup. Not like the guys, Kev and Rex knew that. Though that wasn't the only surprising part. BC was wearing ripped black skinny jeans, a flannel around her waist, and a band tee. AKA my favorite thing to see her in (other than naked). Her tits looked huge! And if my eyes were deceiving me I'd think she was wearing makeup too!

Rex was oogling her. "She went from sliding into home to I want to slide into that _hoe_." I would've punched him in the face for saying that, I swear but I couldn't help wondering why she was here. With _Mitch_.

Everyone knew Mitch had a massive crush on her. I mean, even I did, and I'm horrible with feelings and crap. But here she was hanging out with him- with her hair all dolled up- like she didn't have a care in the world.

I could only hope she didn't know he did.

As she passed the arcade window I almost made eye contact with her. Then I remembered one crucial thing as I ducked down: She didn't know I was here. The only reason that was true was because she had been acting so weird and needy yesterday- I needed a break. So _yeah_ I lied to her. But if you think about it not technically.

I had told her I was going to Maine. This was the _Main_ mall. I had said I was going with the guys. Rex and Kev. If she assumed Boomer and Brick- that was not my fault at all. I mean- this was the 21st century, you can't go assuming things. _God!_

Kev gave me a weird look when I ducked onto the floor so she wouldn't see me. "Um, dude? Why are you hiding?"

Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap! I couldn't tell them why I was ducking because they didn't know I had lied to Buttercup. I couldn't tell them why I lied to Buttercup because we're dating. I couldn't tell them we were dating because Buttercup wanted to keep it a secret. Goddammit! This is why we don't lie, kids. It'll just come back to bite you in the ass.

"...because, uh. I- um. Mitch told me he was getting his balls shaved- so obviously he lied and he couldn't see me here in the Arcade because he'd get all nervous and I don't want that because he's my friend- I'm a nice guy no matter what people say. Anyway- so, froyo guys?" I spoke as fast as I could so they wouldn't be able to comprehend what I was saying. At the same time I tried to push them out of the arcade entrance so we could leave.

"Wait- dude. He lied to go out with BC?" Rex touched his chin like he was deep in thought- which trust me is impossible for a guy like him. "Well, I mean she did get hot, but that's no excuse to ditch a brother. Bros before hoes. No matter how sexy said hoe is." BC was no hoe. She was more than just a hoe, more than just a friend. She was just _amazing._ I looked how she was so easy to talk to, and I loved when she was sassy. It's adorable. She isn't like any of the other girls- she's unique.

But the guys were being way too friendly with the compliments to BC. Yeah, she got hot, but she's mine. So back off. I wanted to tell them straight but it's what _Buttercup_ wanted. "Yeah, darn." I swung my arm and frowned over exaggeratedly. "That's just sucky. Hey, McDonald's anyone?"

Everytime I tried to change the conversation to something other than Mitch's fake betrayal or Buttercup's new look they would just say something stupid or sexist. Before I knew what was happening we were following the two of them discreetly. This was getting out of hand.

Kevin and Rex were walking closely, while I was doing more of a hiding behind other people kinda thing they were getting too close to comfort. I cursed and walked next to them. That way if Buttercup or Mitch just turned around they'd see me. Screw it. "Guys- what are we even doing? Let's go get Burger King- or Wendy's- or Subway if you're feeling like _saving the world from obesity_."

"We're following them." Rex said, neither of them even processed what I said.

"What for though?"

Mitch and BC turned into a store and Kevin and Rex did too- and stupidly I followed. We were in PINK for some reason. Kev was eyeing some of the bras and lace panties. "Just shut up- this is better than watching you suck at Pacman."

My heart almost broke. Suck at Pacman? Me? Butch _Jojo_? Those words just didn't _go_ together. We were hiding behind a display and watching Mitch and Buttercup. They were laughing at something and Buttercup was holding up a bra and smirking. Whatever she said must've been funny because Mitch was laughing hard.

Rex was at his chin again, thinking as hard as his small brain could. He reminded me of Patrick from Spongebob. "I got an idea." An evil smirk was on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked back to BC. They took a bunch of lingerie and were headed towards the dressing rooms.

Excuse me but what. Was she going to try on lingerie in front of him? "Are you good man?" Kevin looked concerned. I now realized that my fist was squeezed so hard and my teeth were grit. All without me even realizing. I mean I didn't even care that she was gonna put on bras and panties in front of one of my friends. I wasn't jealous at all.

"All good."

What Rex ended up doing was when Buttercup went into the changing room Kevin distracted Mitch and Rex took the clothes she had left and hid them in one of the displays. They considered it a "prank" just cause they took her clothes but I feel like they only did it cause they thought she'd walk out in her underwear. Which was dumb. Cause even if she did she would beat them to a pulp for doing it.

After he hid her clothes in the display we all hid in one of the dressing rooms to snoop on the reaction. Even though, yes, I really like BC and treasure her for everything but I had to admit I was interested. Buttercup had screamed at Mitch, thinking it was him who took her clothes. "Mitch, I swear to God."

Meanwhile Mitch had just come back from talking with Kev. "Uh, what'd I do now?" He laughed when he said it. Like they were good friends. Gross. Hands off my lady. It was like he was begging for her to notice him. Gross.

"Bring my clothes back! What the fuck, Mitch!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

I heard a few curses and she smacked her head on the wall in frustration. "Then what the hell am I supposed to wear! I don't have anything in here other than fucking underwear and slutty bras!" I frowned. She sounded really ticked off. The guys were laughing as quietly and hysterically as they could, like their prank was a masterpiece or something, but I bit my lip.

Part of me wanted to bring back her clothes and be the hero- but I would've had to tell her why exactly I was in PINK. Why was _she_ in PINK? With another _guy_? Hell, she had some explaining to do herself. Just when I was about to get up and get her clothes for her- and be the knight in shining armor- Mitch came with a bag of clothes and handed it to her over the stall.

"Here. Wear this."

I heard the rustle of the bag and I swear I heard BC's eyes roll. One of the things I love -like- about her. "Clothes I can wear out of the store, Mitch." She said it with utter annoyance.

Mitch was leaning against the door to her dressing room. That sicko had a smile on his face. No doubt he was picturing her naked in there. Only I could do that. One of the perks of being in a relationship. "Yeah, I bought all of that." Buttercup gasped and she whispered something about how much it cost. I almost didn't hear it. "Just _wear_ it. Don't let the jerks who took your stuff have the last laugh." She laughed at that.

Not like her sarcastic laugh, but her actual laugh. Her adorable one. The one that contributed to me falling for her. She laughed at _him_. "Thanks, man." More rusting. Rustling, rustling, rustling. Then my hottie stepped out of the dressing room. And she looked like _hotter_ than ever.

She was wearing PINK leggings that made her look _thicc_ and a mint green hoodie that was super flattering to her curves. The boys were both oogling again- and to be honest I couldn't help it either. Mitch even looked her up and down. On any other guy she would smack him upside the head but I guess she trusted Mitch.

"Do another spin, _darling_." He said it like that short lady from Incredibles. That made BC laugh. Oh wow. Because he could do impersonations that made him _sooo_ cool. "But honestly, you're looking good!" He grabbed her hand and spun her around and she let out a laugh. My eyes narrowed at Mitch. Touching my girlfriend. Making her laugh. He needs to get his hands off before I-

A tap on the shoulder took me out of my thoughts. "Dude. You coming?" Kev and Rex looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to follow. I glanced at BC and Mitch talking and laughing together, then back at the two of them headed for the entrance.

Half of me wanted to go there and break them up. But she'd be mad I lied. I only lied because I didn't want to make it seem like I was ignoring her to hang out with my friends. _Fuuuuuck!_ I looked back at Kev and Rex, they were already at the exit, waiting for me. I groaned and smacked my forehead in frustration.

I wanted so bad to go to Buttercup and hug her and apologize and rip her out of Mitch's dumb arms. She hadn't even responded to my text too!

Obviously she was busy with _Mitch_.

* * *

Mitch dropped me off at home at 9. After the mall had closed we drove around in his car to Chick-fil-A before remembering it's closed on Sundays, then we went to a huge McDonald's and ordered everything on the menu.

We had had a challenge to see who could finish it the fastest. Obviously it was me. If my stomach can handle 5 hot tacos in one sitting it can handle McDonald's. The competition had been seen and recorded by a bunch of people, it was awesome to be recognized as a fast eater to McDonald's everywhere.

Get this. At the mall Mitch and I went to PINK in the Victoria's Secret store and when I took off my clothes to try the bra and matching undies on you won't believe what happened. My clothes got stolen.

Of course I was pissed off but Mitch had been there Knight in shining armor and he paid for new clothes so I wouldn't have to walk around naked.

I'm sure you're wondering why I was even at PINK. Mitch and I always go there when we're bored. We take a ton of the clothes, bras, and undies and we make a fashion show thing and it's always the funniest thing. Now my new flannel and favorite band t shirt were gone.

Anyway Mitch pulled up to the driveway to my house and unlocked the door. He was looking at me funny. "I really had fun today, BC."

Smirking, I nodded in agreement. Of course he had fun. I'm awesome- who wouldn't have fun with me? "Me too," I said, "Those McNuggets hit my sweet spot." I rubbed my stomach for emphasis and laughed.

He laughed too and ran a few fingers through his shaggy brown hair. It was curly on the top and trimmed at the sides. "We should go to the carnival tomorrow after school."

I had been hoping to hang out with Butch or try out the new ice cream machine we got from the Mayor. But I guess that could be postponed for another day or two. I had no plans throughout the week except for Friday. That being Homecoming. I had decided to forgive Butch for what he said with those two guys about me. I had already pay backed enough and I kinda actually liked him-no matter how crazy that sounds.

There was no way I was going to stop dressing up to impress though. I loved when I made Butch speechless. I'd probably balance between comfortable and hot, or have a whole new style. I'd decide on something.

Oops. I had totally forgotten to respond to Mitch's question. "Yeah, sure. That'll be fun. It gives me a chance to beat your ass at a carnival game." I always teased him on stuff like this. We were always really competitive.

I got out of the car and grabbed the bags from the back. I had gotten two new controllers from GameStop and few things from Hot Topic. Mitch followed my lead and came with be too the door. "This was fun, BC."

"Definitely was. Thanks for buying the clothes, by the way." Shit. I forgot my key. I rang the doorbell and while I was waiting for someone to come to the door, I leaned against it as I spoke with Mitch. Was it just me or was he sweating?

Yeah, his forehead was glistening. What the heck. It wasn't that hot. It was like 70 and fall was about to start. He was redder than usual. Maybe sunburn to the face?

"Uh, y-yeah..no problem." He looked so nervous all of a sudden. No one was answering the door too, so we just waited there.

Weird. It looked like Mitch was leaning forward. _Oh_ I know what he wants. I wrapped my arms around him in a hug and patted his back.

"Again, thanks for today. I never say thanks so you should treasure this moment." He chuckled and smiled back at me as I pulled away from the hug.

No one was coming to the door and I frowned. I knocked on it as loud as I could. " _Bubbles! Bloss! Professor!"_

There was no way I was locked out of the house at almost 9:30. I groaned and hit the door to emphasis my anger. " _Fuck_ I'm locked out."

Mitch had shoved his hands in his pockets so when he shrugged at me it looked weird. He thought for a moment and then smiled brightly. "You could come to my house. We have a guest bedroom."

I stroked my chin like I was thinking hard. "But how about my homework? And my bag? And pajamas? And clothes?"

Another shrug. "You can borrow Carly's or mine. And ask your sisters to bring your bag to school- or skip school tomorrow." He had like a diabolical smirk that I just admired. God I'm so proud. He's come a long away from being a teacher's pet.

"Genius!" I smirked and took his hand, dragging him over to the car. "Get in, loser." I said, referencing Mean Girls.

Mitch laughed and got in.

And I had to be honest, today was a pretty fun day.

* * *

 ** _Notes: Hope you enjoyed this chapter and must I say Merry Christmas! A Christmas story and a New Year's story might be out. No promises!_**

 ** _Also. Keep in mind that Butch is supposed to pick Buttercup up for school tomorrow and she still hasn't responded to his good morning text. That is all._**

 ** _Reread Review- do whatever. I just love getting reviews. They make me write new chapters faster. *WINK*_**

 ** _~Rowdypuff :)_**

 _ **P.S I love the chapter title because it's a pun on Green with Envy. Mitch and BC were at PINK and Butch was jealous. So PINK with Jealousy is hilarious confirmed.**_


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